Psychotherapy
Jill Kane, Psy.D.
It’s just after New Years and, more than likely, your resolutions are long forgotten. The goals you set are often a list of those things about yourself you want to change: you may want to lose weight or gain it, begin a new career or improve your current one, return to school, make new friends, become a better parent, or simply learn more about yourself. As much as you want to succeed with your resolutions, it’s often difficult to follow through with them on your own. If you are feeling stuck, dissatisfied, confused or unhappy, psychotherapy is a great tool to help you feel better and accomplish your goals for the New Year.
What is Psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy is a relationship with a professional trained to help you with a range of problems – from anxiety and depression to parenting concerns, marital conflicts, and even eating issues. Some go to therapy for help with a specific concern such as coping with a pending divorce, a death in the family, or a job loss; others enjoy the process of self-discovery that takes place in the therapist’s office.
The key element in any therapy is the relationship with the therapist. It’s critical to feel comfortable with your therapist and the therapist’s job is to provide a safe place in which you can discuss whatever bothers or confuses you. The therapist acts as a guide to help you understand why you feel and behave in ways that may not be working for you. A therapist helps you identify behavior patterns and provides a means to help you change those that don’t work.
Why go to Therapy?
Anyone can benefit from psychotherapy. The process of self-understanding provides a great foundation for making good decisions throughout life. Knowing who you are, what you want, and how to get there are keys to living an emotionally healthy, happy and productive life.
Often you feel stuck but can’t change. Although sometimes you can identify what you think the problem is, the solution may be out of your awareness and difficult to see. Other times, you may think you know the problem, but after discussing it, find out it’s something else altogether. Discussing concerns with friends and family is helpful, but doesn’t always help you implement the changes you want to make. Therapy can help you identify and clarify the problem, find solutions, and feel happier and more satisfied. We don’t know what we don’t know and a professional helps you see things more clearly.
Approaches to Therapy
There are different kinds of therapy. Some therapy focuses only on individuals; others on couples, families, or groups. There are also different approaches to different problems. For example, if you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder (washing repeatedly, constantly checking the lights, hoarding) a therapist using a “behavioral” approach (systematic and concrete interventions) may be most effective. If you have a general sense of dissatisfaction, but aren’t sure why, a therapist using a “psychodynamic” approach (talking thorough unresolved issues) may be most helpful. Generally, after talking with a patient, the therapist and patient together will decide which approach is the most effective.
Choosing a therapist
The single most important factor in choosing a therapist is whether or not you feel comfortable with that person. Feel free to “shop around.” There are excellent therapists that are Psychologists (have doctoral degrees), Marriage and Family Counselors (MFTs with master’s degrees), and Licensed Social Workers (LCSW or MSW). The difference between degrees is education and training, but more education doesn’t necessarily mean a better therapist. You need to find someone that is a good match for you.
Sometimes, medication can be an answer, but you will need a Psychiatrist (M.D.) or your primary care doctor to prescribe them. However, I strongly recommend that you see a therapist before making that decision on your own. Talking your issues over with a professional before deciding to take any medications is almost always helpful. Medications have side effects and are only helpful in specific situations.
You may want to utilize your insurance, in which case your insurance company will provide a list of therapists on their plan that you can see. You can also check for therapists on the Internet, where many list the kind of therapy they practice and provide some basic information and a picture. Ask friends and family for referrals. You may be surprised how many people you know who can recommend a good therapist. Generally, therapists offer a range of services at a range of prices and they will tell you upfront the kind of therapy they practice and what they charge.
So as you consider change in the New Year, think not only about what you want to accomplish, but how you are actually going to do accomplish it. Make your list of New Year’s resolutions – that is certainly a good place to start. However, if you find it difficult to keep those resolutions, if they are the same resolutions you make each year, and you are curious about yourself, psychotherapy is a great and interesting option. This New Year may be your best and, next year, you can truly wish yourself A Very Happy and Healthy New Year.
